At the end of the year, his father will find out the dog can neither talk nor read. So he shoots the dog.When he arrives home at the end of the year, his father is all excited.‘Where’s my Jiggy? I just can’t wait to talk with him, and see him read something!’‘Dad,’ the young lad says, ‘I have some grim news. Yesterday morning, just before we left to drive home, Jiggy was in the living room, kicked back in the recliner, reading the Cape Breton Post. Then he suddenly turned to me and asked, ‘So, is your daddy still messing around with that little redhead working in the bakery at the grocery store?’’ The father groans and whispers, ‘I hope you shot that son of a bitch before he talks to your Mother!’‘I sure did, Dad!’‘That’s my boy!’The son goes on to become a successful lawyer and then a Member of Parliament... ✧ ✧ ✧Say thanks to Wyden for this one!Where’s the cheese?Man brings mousetrap invention to patent office. It has a ramp leading up to a block of wood with a piece of cheese in. I got home late Friday night, and the kids were already in bed. I found Jen in the family room. She was dressed simply. Jeans and an untucked button down shirt. Her hair was pulled back. She didn't have any makeup on. She looked like she had just taken a shower, which she often does at the end of the day. She looked great. With her hair pulled back, and without makeup, she looked younger than her 32 years.She looked nervous, and I could tell she wanted to talk. As soon as I sat down she took my hands in hers. "I need to tell you something," she began. "I think you'll like what I'm about to say."She took a deep breath, and looked like she was building up her courage. I didn't say anything, I let her go at her own pace. Finally she said, "I slept with Ralph again." I mean, we didn't sleep together," she quickly corrected. "But we had sex again."She looked at me expectantly. She was afraid. "Are you mad?"I took her in my arms, and kissed her. "I love you so much. You've made me so.
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